Episode 008
 Before you Speak, Resource yourself like This
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Hosted by Jeremy de Tolly
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About this Episode
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Have you ever walked into a meeting knowing exactly what you wanted to say… only to freeze the moment all eyes turned toward you?
In this episode, Jeremy explains why communication anxiety isn't simply a confidence or mindset problem, but rather a nervous system response.
When we're triggered, our brain shifts into survival mode. We lose access to clear thinking, struggle to find words, and often leave conversations replaying everything we "should have said."
Jeremy introduces one of his favorite grounding techniques—the 5-4-3-2-1 Resourcing Method. This is a practical tool used in trauma-informed therapies to help regulate the nervous system, return to the present moment, and access your natural ability to communicate.
Whether you experience public speaking anxiety, freeze during meetings, overthink conversations, or simply want to feel more confident using your voice, this episode offers a practical first step toward lasting change.
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You will learn:
Why communication anxiety is a nervous system response—not a lack of confidence.
What happens in your brain when you enter fight, flight or freeze.
Why positive thinking and mindset techniques often aren't enough.
How unresolved conditioning can keep you stuck in communication anxiety.
What "self-leadership" means and why it's essential for confident communication.
How the 5-4-3-2-1 Resourcing Technique helps you return to the present moment.
Simple ways to regulate your nervous system before meetings, presentations or difficult conversations.
How to move from fear and overthinking into calm, connection and authentic expression.
Listen or watch this episode on your favourite platform!
Resources & next steps
If you’d like to explore this work further:
Free Resources and Guides
Practical, expert-created tools to help you reclaim your voice, reduce anxiety, and elevate your presence.
EFT for Speaking Anxiety PDF
A practical, body-based approach to calming the nervous system and speaking with more ease.
Private coaching with Jeremy
Personalised support to help you move through vocal anxiety and speak with clarity and confidence.
Support this work:
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The Radiant FoundationÂ
Providing free trauma tools and support to underprivileged communities in South Africa
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