Jeremy de Tolly

music ● spirituality ● voice ● awakening ● creativity ● healing

E024 - Do you speak in a phony meditation voice?

vocal liberation Aug 03, 2020

My friend, who isn't into meditation, asked why I speak slowly in some of my videos, and if I was disingenuously putting on a phony meditation voice. Great question!

Watch the video below, or enjoy the written version.

 

Well, hello, welcome to another blog. What an episode is it gonna be!

I have some startling insights, some incredible facts and actually,... you know what, I really don't. But this is gonna be an interesting episode.

Firstly, I dressed up, I wore a little bit of a snazzy suit.

Secondly, a really normal friend of mine who is not really into consciousness per se, asked me a really interesting question. He very gently confronted me, I would say. And he said something along the lines of, "I watched one of your episodes. And why do you speak slowly in that meditational voice?" And he said, "Its just what you're speaking like this to me right now. And then you slow down like that and talk to the camera. It seems a bit disingenuous," he said.

And I am of course...

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E023 - Speak from Presence

vocal liberation Jul 27, 2020

 Hello, welcome to another blog. This one is about Speaking from Presence. It's questions WHERE we are speaking FROM, rather than what we are saying.

Watch the video below, or enjoy the written version. 

Hi.

So right now, you and I are both sitting, covered in rubber bands, all around our arms, all around our mouths, all around our throats, all over our body we're covered in these thick elastic, rubber bands, keeping us constricted and conditioned. They govern all my words. They govern all my actions and yours too.

So what is it to set a voice free? What is it to de-condition and re-wild a voice? I'm gonna tell you, but before we go any further, how about you just head down to the little subscribe thing down there and click it and it'll go , and then we can be friends on YouTube.

Okay, so we are covered in rubber bands of conditioning. And so the thing is, is even when we were tiny, before we had words, as we began to learn them, essentially in those words, we learnt...

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E022 - From Self-regulation to Co-regulation (from Me to We)

trauma vocal liberation Jul 20, 2020

Hello, welcome to another blog. This one is about the movement from Self-regulation to Co-regulation (from Me to We).

Watch the video below, or enjoy the written version!

So who's in charge of your nervous system right now? What's happening in your nervous system? What's happening in that energy field as we speak?

Let's just take a deep breath and really tune in.

So, really grounding down into the lower half of our body, feet and thighs and buttocks and all the lower bits. Then also just tuning in to our stomach and solar plexus and chest too. What's going on in the head? Busy or quiet? Are you speeding or slow? Are you up or down?

So here is the thing. It's certainly the way I was brought up: we weren't really taught how to work with and live with our inner state. In fact, in general our culture taught me to ignore it as much as possible and pretend that anything negative was definitely not happening. And so in this episode, we are gonna look at self-regulation and it's...

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E021 - Tapping for Blocked Voices (Heal Your Voice)

tapping vocal liberation Jul 06, 2020

Welcome to the tapping for blocked voices tapping meditation. Vocal blocks are experienced not just in the mind, but in the body too. If you pay attention, you might feel a closing of your throat. Or you could have a lot of intensity in your solar plexus below your ribs, or a clenching stomach. Some describe pressure on the chest, or all of these symptoms and more.

Tapping helps us integrate the mind and body, and when used more deeply, can help us release long-held trauma.

Enjoy the Tapping video or read the blog below.

 

Blocked voices become this way, because at some point when they were little, children discover it’s very unsafe to speak. They may also discover that it’s unsafe to express their feelings, or to make a noise, or many find that being in front of crowds of people is very scary.

Tapping on these issues helps us be really present with the reactions that come up in mind and body, and give us an opportunity to create new possibilities. It even helps us...

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E020 - Living a Warm-Hearted Life

awakening heart Jun 29, 2020

 I'd like you to imagine that every day we're given a choice when we wake up. How to interact with the world, that we could set an intention. And that intention might be I'm going to interact with the world the way I always do. Through my conditioning, you could say. Another version might be well I read the news, and it scares me and my body contracts and I hate those people. And so we might wanna be a bit more shut down and protect ourselves more. And there's a third option, a third way of waking up every day, which would be to choose to be warm-hearted with the world. To open our hearts and feel our interdependence and interconnectedness with all of life, when we wake up every day. 

Enjoy this week's blog - watch the video or continue reading. 

This last weekend I watched "The Great 14th," the documentary with the 14th Dalai Lama. And a few of the things that he spoke about was so poignant. Amongst other things, it's just beautiful to see. This life, his beautiful...

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E019 - The Verbal Defence Pattern of Fight (part 2)

trauma vocal liberation Jun 22, 2020

Are you a narcissist? Am I a narcissist? This my friends is a complex topic. This week’s episode continues on from last week’s investigation of the Fight response as one of the four Fs of Fight, Flight, Freeze and Fawn. And we’re going to dive into Narcissism as it relates to the Fight Type. We’re also going to look at recovery and healing for our fighters, and how a healthy fight response is necessary for our survival and wellbeing.
So stick around if you are one of the people who blurts out their feelings, fights & gets it all out. Or stick around if you don’t but you know people like that. 

Enjoy this week's video episode, or continue reading the blog below!

Let’s talk about Narcissism. Firstly, what is it? The simplest definition is an excessive need for admiration, disregard for others' feelings, an inability to handle any criticism and a sense of entitlement. And it’s worth knowing 3 signs of potential narcissism: one, a...

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E018 - The Verbal Defence Pattern of Fight (part 1)

trauma vocal liberation Jun 15, 2020

So you're in the kitchen with a significant other and they're talking about something and they're being really irritating. They're saying stuff that's really triggering you and there's this heat in your belly and you’re holding on to it, you're holding on to it and then it starts to build up inside, building up, you’re keeping quiet but these thoughts are racing through your head and it’s building towards the point of no return… what happens next?!?!?

Either… verbally blast them with how you feel, and maybe you say something cutting, disembowel them with a blade.  Or you shut down inside and run away, and you go into the next room and you try and process what’s happening. If you are the first person who just lets it out, this video is about you, the ones with a strong fight response.

Enjoy this week's video episode, or continue reading the blog below!

Now to contextualise, we’re talking about the Fight response as part of the...

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E017 - Fawn and the Defence-Pattern of Being Extremely Nice

vocal liberation May 29, 2020

Well Hello, how are you? I’m great, thank you, really well. Everything’s great! I’m fine. Or at least I'm pretending to be fine!

Welcome to this week's blog about the trauma pattern of Fawn and being too darn nice (or just a little bit passive aggressive). Either watch the video or read the blog below. Enjoy!


 

So, I don't know about you do but the culture I was brought up in contains an element of being nice, which also encouraged having no boundaries. So, we like to constantly pretend that everything is fine, and it’s important to us to consistently be as nice as possible to other human beings, including when we don't mean it.
Before we go any further, please do me the honour of subscribing to this Youtube channel, click the red subscribe button below. And if you find this video useful, please let me know about how and drop a comment in below.
So at a deeper level, in the work of complex PTSD specialist Peter Walker, Fawn is seen as the 4th...

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E016 - Releasing Shame and Healing Social Engagement

trauma vocal liberation May 15, 2020

Shame and healing social engagement. What a topic, one that is close to my heart and well known to my innards, my gut, my nervous system. How about you?

Enjoy the video, or read the blog below

Shame is a complex emotion with a simple definition.  One definition is that it’s “a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety”. For me the feeling of it is a kind of queasy, sick, debilitating paralyzed, self judging, self rejecting, feeling... and it's awful and I know it quite well. I have often described myself as “a shame baby”, in other words it is a negative emotion that I know well; where other people have different kinds of issues... maybe major anxiety, or major rage, or depression. 

So I know well the feeling of it… a kind of toxic chemical flood into the whole body, that numbs, hurts and paralyses. And no, it's not a nice feeling at all. And so for any of you who know this feeling, please say hi...

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E015 - The under-appreciated art of listening

vocal liberation May 08, 2020

Well, hey there. Great to see you here. Welcome to this blog and today we're going to be investigating the art of listening. In other words, how to really hear people, and let them feel heard. I know this is a place where I could really improve, I’m on a journey with this too, so I’ll definitely be watching this video to the end and implementing the strategies and behaviours suggested here. Watch the video, or read the blog below!

So, why bother being a good listener? I think for one, it can fundamentally change the quality of our relationships at work, at home, socially, and even online. I think it applies to both zoom chats  as well as in-person conversations. 

If you’re watching this on Youtube – please click the subscribe button below. OK let’s dive in, and you can put these listening guidelines into action as you watch this.

Topic One: How to listen. So the first thing to do is to be present. Take a deep breath and try and breathe...

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