Jeremy de Tolly

Here's my take on what 'best practice' is for waking up, healing, and thriving in 2021. In essence, it's my opinion on how to develop a sense of harmony and wellbeing while living this wild, beautiful and rather short human life!

Get ready to give me your opinion on whether this rings true for you. Start warming up those typing fingers right now

Hello there!

Welcome to this blog where we are going to dive into the path to healing and waking up in 2021. How to do all the things leading to feeling good in 2021.

Now why 2021? Because – I think things are evolving. Things are changing. We're understanding new things. And while I hate this term, there's probably a kind of 'blunt cutting edge' to this that is worth looking at and paying attention. If nothing else, I'm going to put out a big fat, hairy opinion here and you can decide if you think what I'm saying is interesting or true, or maybe you've got some other input to share about what it looks like to wake up, heal...

Hello, welcome to another blog. This one is about the movement from Self-regulation to Co-regulation (from Me to We).

Watch the video below, or enjoy the written version!

So who's in charge of your nervous system right now? What's happening in your nervous system? What's happening in that energy field as we speak?

Let's just take a deep breath and really tune in.

So, really grounding down into the lower half of our body, feet and thighs and buttocks and all the lower bits. Then also just tuning in to our stomach and solar plexus and chest too. What's going on in the head? Busy or quiet? Are you speeding or slow? Are you up or down?

So here is the thing. It's certainly the way I was brought up: we weren't really taught how to work with and live with our inner state. In fact, in general our culture taught me to ignore it as much as possible and pretend that anything negative was definitely not happening. And so in this episode, we are gonna look at self-regulation and it's...

Are you a narcissist? Am I a narcissist? This my friends is a complex topic. This week’s episode continues on from last week’s investigation of the Fight response as one of the four Fs of Fight, Flight, Freeze and Fawn. And we’re going to dive into Narcissism as it relates to the Fight Type. We’re also going to look at recovery and healing for our fighters, and how a healthy fight response is necessary for our survival and wellbeing.
So stick around if you are one of the people who blurts out their feelings, fights & gets it all out. Or stick around if you don’t but you know people like that. 

Enjoy this week's video episode, or continue reading the blog below!

Let’s talk about Narcissism. Firstly, what is it? The simplest definition is an excessive need for admiration, disregard for others' feelings, an inability to handle any criticism and a sense of entitlement. And it’s worth knowing 3 signs of potential narcissism: one, a...

So you're in the kitchen with a significant other and they're talking about something and they're being really irritating. They're saying stuff that's really triggering you and there's this heat in your belly and you’re holding on to it, you're holding on to it and then it starts to build up inside, building up, you’re keeping quiet but these thoughts are racing through your head and it’s building towards the point of no return… what happens next?!?!?

Either… verbally blast them with how you feel, and maybe you say something cutting, disembowel them with a blade.  Or you shut down inside and run away, and you go into the next room and you try and process what’s happening. If you are the first person who just lets it out, this video is about you, the ones with a strong fight response.

Enjoy this week's video episode, or continue reading the blog below!

Now to contextualise, we’re talking about the Fight response as part of the...

Shame and healing social engagement. What a topic, one that is close to my heart and well known to my innards, my gut, my nervous system. How about you?

Enjoy the video, or read the blog below

Shame is a complex emotion with a simple definition.  One definition is that it’s “a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety”. For me the feeling of it is a kind of queasy, sick, debilitating paralyzed, self judging, self rejecting, feeling... and it's awful and I know it quite well. I have often described myself as “a shame baby”, in other words it is a negative emotion that I know well; where other people have different kinds of issues... maybe major anxiety, or major rage, or depression. 

So I know well the feeling of it… a kind of toxic chemical flood into the whole body, that numbs, hurts and paralyses. And no, it's not a nice feeling at all. And so for any of you who know this feeling, please say hi...